🎒 Back-to-School: an Executive Function Bootcamp
- dana Baker-Williams
- 12 minutes ago
- 7 min read
Executive function skills are the brain’s management system — the behind-the-scenes processes that help us plan, organize, remember, manage time, control impulses, and shift gears when plans change. They’re what allow us to turn a messy morning into a somewhat functional day.
For kids with ADHD and anxiety, executive functions are already fragile. And let’s be real: nothing pushes these skills to the breaking point like back-to-school season.
New teachers. Different schedules. Early mornings. After-school activities. Forgotten shoes (why is it always the shoes?). School demands every single executive function skill your child has. If those skills are shaky, mornings turn chaotic, afternoons unravel, and evenings end in meltdowns — for kids and parents alike.
The good news? Executive functions can be strengthened with practice, structure, and the right supports. This article breaks down what executive functions are, why school is basically an executive function obstacle course, and how parents can help their kids build skills that reduce stress and boost confidence.
📚 School Uses All the Executive Functions
Picture this: it’s 7:30 a.m. Your child is supposed to be dressed, fed, and ready to leave. Instead, they’re still in pajamas, searching for a missing math worksheet, and you’re yelling, “We’re going to be late!” Sound familiar?
Here’s what’s happening in their brain:
Planning & Organization: remembering homework, finding their backpack, packing lunch, and making sure gym clothes are ready.
Time Management: catching the bus at 7:45 (not 7:50 — we’ve tested that window).
Working Memory: recalling their locker combo while also remembering the steps for long division.
Self-Control: resisting the urge to yell at a sibling or toss the backpack when frustrated.
Flexible Thinking: handling a surprise pop quiz and the fact that soccer practice was canceled.
School isn’t just academic. It’s a daily test of executive function — one that ADHD and anxious kids often feel like they’re failing before the first bell rings.
🧠 Common Executive Function Struggles in Kids
Forgetting assignments or losing track of materials.
Struggling to start homework without a parent hovering.
Meltdowns when plans change.
Taking “forever” to get ready in the morning.
Feeling constantly behind, even when they’re trying hard.
👉 And here’s the kicker: parents often take it personally. I hear it in my coaching practice all the time: “Why can’t she just get it together?” or “He’s smart, but he’s so lazy.”
The truth is, it’s not laziness. It’s lagging executive function skills. And those can be taught.
✅ Strategies for Building Executive Function
📝 1. Break Tasks Into Smaller Steps
ADHD brains struggle with initiation. A big, vague task like “Do your homework” feels like standing at the bottom of a mountain with no path up. Breaking it into smaller, concrete steps creates a trail. Each step gives a mini dopamine boost, which motivates the brain to keep going.
Why it works:
Reduces overwhelm.
Creates momentum.
Builds confidence with each step completed.
💡 Client story: A dad I worked with was convinced his teen son “didn’t care” about homework. But once we chunked it into micro-steps — “Open your backpack. Pull out your math folder. Put the worksheet on the table. Write your name at the top.” — The boy could get going without all the frustration. The barrier wasn’t laziness, it was overwhelm.
💡 At my house: I learned quickly not to say, “Clean your room.” My daughter would freeze. Instead, I’d start with, “Put the dirty clothes in the basket.” Put your shoes in the closet. That one step often snowballed into her doing the rest.
⏰ 2. Use Visual Aids and Timers
ADHD and anxious kids are “time blind.” Five minutes feels like forever, or like no time at all. Visuals and timers externalize time, making it concrete and predictable.
Why it works:
Externalizes information so the brain doesn’t have to hold it all.
Reduces conflict — the timer is the “bad guy,” not the parent.
Lessens anxiety by making expectations clear and predictable.
💡 Client story: A mom set up a giant wall calendar with color-coded assignments for her 12-year-old. Suddenly, late-night “surprises” about forgotten projects disappeared. The visual reminder gave him a sense of control.
💡 At my house: My daughter did the same, but on her bedroom mirror--which was fun and a way for her to take ownership. For my son, we used Alexa as a timer to reduce fights. If I say, “You’ve got five minutes left on screens,” he pushed back. If Alexa announced it, he moves. The timer reduces nagging and conflict.
🕒 3. Establish Routines and Consistent Schedules
Routines aren’t just helpful — they’re executive function superpowers. They turn chaos into autopilot. They alleviate that anxiety of uncertainty and the worry that you're doing the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Why they work:
Reduce decision fatigue.
Lower anxiety by creating predictability.
Build habits that free up brain energy.
Support regulation through consistency.
💡 Client story: An 8-year-old I coached had morning meltdowns daily. We built a laminated morning checklist with pictures. Within two weeks, mornings shifted from battles to small victories. He proudly said, “I don’t need Mom to remind me — I have my list.”
💡 At my house: Phones down at 9:30. Not popular, but essential. Sleep improved, mornings smoothed out, and I stopped being the bedtime drill sergeant.
🧠 4. Build Working Memory and Flexible Thinking
Working memory is your brain’s “scratchpad” — holding info long enough to use it. Flexible thinking is the ability to pivot when things change. Both are constantly tested in school and in life, and both can be strengthened, but it takes some work.
Why it works:
Working memory supports independence.
Flexibility prevents meltdowns when plans shift.
💡 Client story: An autistic teen I worked with melted down whenever baseball practice was canceled. We practiced saying, “That’s frustrating. What’s my Plan B?” Over time, he shifted to basketball or riding his bike instead of spiraling.
💡 At my house: My daughter panicked when teachers changed deadlines. Practicing flexibility (“Okay, what can I do instead?”) helped her feel more in control — and less stuck in black-and-white thinking.
🏠 5. Create Supportive Environments
The environment is half the battle. Clutter and chaos drain executive function. Clear systems free up mental energy. It's amazing what a difference a clean room or surface makes. I see it all the time myself in the kitchen. Clear the countertops and I just breathe better!
Why it works:
Externalizes organization so kids don’t rely solely on memory.
Reduces stress by cutting distractions.
Creates predictability, lowering anxiety.
💡 Client story: A mom with ADHD herself was constantly losing papers. We created a “launch pad” by the door with one basket per kid. Backpacks, homework, sports gear — all in one spot. No more scavenger hunts at 7:40 a.m.
💡 At my house: Shoes. Always the shoes. I put a bin by the door. Do shoes always land there? No. But at least we’re not sprinting through the house five minutes before the bus. I also adopted a technique from my sister: a bin of socks right next to the shoes. Not necessarily matched together, just grab and go!
📱 6. Use Technology Intentionally
Technology can be both friend and foe. Used intentionally, it’s a powerful executive function support. Some websites create flashcards or mind maps to help our kids study in ways that work for them. If you find reading hard, listen to the book instead.
Why it works:
Alarms and apps do the remembering.
Focus modes and website blockers reduce distractions.
Builds independence — kids rely less on parents for prompts.
💡 Client story: A teen with ADHD started using his phone alarm to remind him to pack up for practice. His mom said, “For the first time, I’m not the bad guy.”
💡 At my house: My daughter's ADHD meds alarm goes off every morning. She also keeps the meds on her bedside table. No arguments, no nagging — the alarm takes the blame.
📏 The 30% Rule and ADHD
Research suggests kids with ADHD function at about 30% behind their age peers in executive function skills. That means your 12-year-old may have the planning skills of an 8-year-old. Understanding this helps parents adjust expectations and focus on teaching, not punishing. It's a great way to catch yourself and ensure you are setting realistic expectations, rather than setting them up to fail.
🍎 Partnering With Teachers: The Parent Letter
Supporting executive function isn’t just on parents — teachers play a huge role. But here’s the truth: teachers can’t read your child’s mind. They see dozens of kids a day, each with their own quirks and challenges.
That’s why one of the most powerful things you can do at the start of the school year is write a short letter (or email) introducing your child.
Even for teens, this matters. It sets the stage for collaboration instead of conflict.
What to include in your parent letter:
A quick snapshot: your child’s age, grade, and diagnosis (ADHD, anxiety, autism, etc.).
Strengths: what lights them up (sports, art, math, making people laugh).
Challenges: where they struggle (working memory, transitions, test anxiety).
What works: the strategies that help them succeed (timers, chunked assignments, written directions, praise for effort).
What doesn’t work: the things that backfire (nagging, time pressure, public call-outs).
💡 Client story: A mom of a 7th grader with ADHD wrote to his teachers: “He does best when directions are written and repeated out loud. He shuts down when put on the spot. Please let him know privately if he missed something.” His teachers later told her that the letter was gold.
💡 At my house: I sent a similar letter for my daughter when her anxiety was at its peak. I explained, “She might look disengaged, but she’s actually overwhelmed. A quick check-in helps more than calling her out.” It changed the tone of the whole year.
👉 A simple parent letter gives teachers a heads-up, helps your child feel understood, and starts the year with teamwork instead of tension.
🌟 Final Thoughts
Back-to-school is basically an executive function stress test. If your child struggles with remembering, organizing, shifting gears, or starting tasks, it’s not laziness — it’s overload.
The fix isn’t nagging harder. It’s scaffolding their skills with routines, tools, and lots of practice.
Start small. Pick one strategy — a checklist, a timer, a launch pad. Practice it until it sticks. Over time, these supports become skills your child can carry into school, sports, friendships, and eventually adulthood.
And you? You’ll survive September mornings with fewer meltdowns… and maybe even a hot cup of coffee before the bus.
Check out these additional articles for you to read:
Helping Teens and Young Adults Find Their Voice
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