1. Be Present
It's hard to always be open, present and actually with our kids mentally.To get present, pay attention to what you hear, feel, see and smell. By paying attention you come back into the moment right then. Then you can focus on your child--her demeaner, face, what she's doing and what she needs, Mindfulness helps you, your child and improves connections. That means more peace and less anger.
2. Take a Pause
We all know we should breathe and we all know it helps. But what we don't do is remember in the moment to do so. Why does it work and calm us down? Because it literally calms your entire nervous system down--physically. It lowers our blood pressure, decreases our heart rate and makes our muscles become less tense, so your shoulders are no longer on your ear lobes!
3. Look & Listen
Often, when your kid is at her worst is when we really need to be at our best. That's not easy, but children act out when something is bothering them and they don't have a way to cope or even identify their feelings. They may be more scared of their feelings and of an out of control tantrum than you are! So stop and pay attention. What else could be going on under the behaviour: could they have hurt feelings, could they be hungry, could they be missing someone or feeling alone? And then you can lean in and hold them to calm them down and/ or you can help them give words to their feelings so that next time they may be more able to help you understand them.